Rules for a Christ Effect Entertainment audition

Posted: February 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

Here are some guidelines I came up with after our casting call last weekend.  Just in case you didn’t notice, don’t take me seriously on all of them, 🙂

1) Show up on time.  You automatically don’t get the part if you’re late.

2.) Show up.  Don’t email me excuses why you missed your audition two hours after you were supposed to be there.  I don’t believe your excuse.  You don’t even believe your excuse.

3.) Prepare.  We can tell if you looked at the script for the first time on your drive over here.  And seriously, that’s pretty dangerous to read while you drive.  Stop it.

4.) Don’t act like you got the part.  I may be nice to you, but don’t confuse this with your being hired.  If I get one more email thanking me for getting the part when the person didn’t get the part, I’m going to scream.

5.) Have a sense of humor.  I know you’re nervous, but I can tell if you’re going to be uptight on set. Smile a little, you’ll find that your face doesn’t hurt so much.

6.) Do not put your feet on the judges table, do not blow kisses at the producers, and do NOT ask the producers for gas money to get home.  Yes, I’m talking to you.  The selling a Publix card for $10.00 scam is old, and we all see right through it.  This is ridiculously inappropriate behavior, and you won’t be invited to audition again.

7.) Act like you care.  If you audition with no emotion, then I’ll tell you you weren’t hired with no emotion.

8.) Don’t poop in the bathrooms without spraying air freshener (which is located right next to the toilet!).  We all smell it.  We all know you did it.   And we’re all still thinking about the smell of baby poop in the air after you did it.

9.) Eat some food.  I can hear your stomach louder than I hear your script read.

10.) And finally, the biggest rule of all: don’t come to the audition drunk.  I can smell it on you, I can see it on you, and I can tell that that “coffee cup” you keep chugging out of holds a pint of liquor.  Ew, gross, but thanks for entertaining us all for 15 minutes.

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Comments
  1. Afroza says:

    LOL…this just made my morning….everything is SPOT ON…haha

  2. Danny says:

    why r u soo mean!!!!!!lol.

  3. Jen Jen says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH flippin HILARIOUS!!!! i am dying of laughter…well played rodnez

  4. Sandi Stock says:

    LMBO Stephanie you are so funny. Good to know for any future auditions!

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